A few years ago a couple of friends and I decided to take a road trip to Pondicherry and stay there over the weekend and party really hard.
So let's call these friends as Alpha and omega alright?
So we started late afternoon and we have a really great drive and we reached our destination by evening. I made the big mistake of mentioning that the last time I went to Pondicherry with my friends from college , one of the guys got a Thai massage with the happy ending. So this actually hyped up both alpha and omega and they actually wanted to see if this stuff happens for real and if it does, they wanted to experience it. I'm like please let's just go get drunk and party, but no. My friends made me google some place to get a Thai massage and a happy ending, so we end up in the corner of this shady ass street and we walk into the massage parlor and I look around and see the entrance is being guarded by a couple of guys. So we walk in and there's a waiting room there with all these guys in their 50s and 60s. At the reception in the waiting room there was one morbidly obese woman who did not have an approachable/pleasant disposition , and now alpha isn't the kinda guy who's subtle. He walks up with to the reception and asks in a fairly loud tone "do you have girls?". The receptionist said "yes I do". Now here's the part that started making me uncomfortable, alpha asks the receptionist if she has North Indian girls and she says yes and my friend asks to see them. So the woman calls out like 10 names and they all come and stand at attention all lined up facing us. And trust me when I say I'm not easily disgusted but seeing the faces of those women who were barely 20 years old , you could tell that they didn't like their job and were possibly being made to do this against their will. It was one of those moments that my stomach turn seeing their plight. Now back to alpha's subtlety, he says to the receptionist immediately after noticing the mongoloid features on those young women "I asked for North Indian not for North East indians" and I'm like "can you not be racist? That too here of all places, we might get beaten up" but alpha is unrelenting and he asks the receptionist if she doesn't have anyone else and the receptionist said she could also give him a massage if he wanted, and alpha mumbles under his breath like "yeah right who would ever come to you?" And I just tell him that I'm walking out and that I'll be outside. So leaving alpha and omega inside the building I walk out and call mutual friend of ours and tell him about what's going on and had a small laugh over it. That's when both alpha and omega come out saying that there's a 45 minute waiting period and that he gave the phone number of the friend who was on the call as a gag. So I'm like "finally let's go get drunk". Omega seemed to have lost interest by now but alpha isn't the kind who gives up easily as well so he pleaded with omega and me to go and try to search for one more place. So we did and we googled and found another which was in a more densely populated area which sounded a lot safer to me. So we go to the place and it looked like an innocent saloon with a couple of rooms in the end. At the reception there was this woman who was actually quite pretty and alpha goes and sits down in front of her and asks if there are any girls , the receptionist said they have gone for dinner and will be back soon. Alpha meanwhile is actually smitten by this woman and asked if she was a masseuse as well and she said she was. So alpha actually started flirting with her and I was amazed to see that she was actually flirting back. I mean I guess I couldn't blame her either, because she's probably working for elderly guys the whole day and my guess is that she was fairly excited seeing a younger guy come to her. So she agreed to service alpha for a 1500 rupees for the massage and a 1000 rupee tip for the happy ending. These two hit it off and were flirting so much that I actually called alpha to talk to him outside for a moment. He comes out and asks me why I'm ruining his "game and charm" and I'm like "dude you are going to pay her right?" He says "of course" and I get irritated and just kinda yelled at him saying "then what the fuck are you flirting for ? Skip the fucking foreplay and get it over with and let's go". So alpha goes in while omega and I wait in the car with a beer. Around 30 minutes later alpha gets in the car and asks "Duuuuuddddeeeee will I get AIDS?" I'm like "what the actual fuck did you do in there?" And he proceeded to tell me that there was heavy making out and after which he fingered her while she was jerking him off. And I'm like "you're paying her! Why did you finger her???" And alpha exclaimed that he "took care of it later".
So alpha goes on and said that she wanted to have sex but he didn't so he just asked her to give him a happy ending and walked out after paying her a total of 2000 eupees.
I was puzzled and said "2k? I thought it was gonna come up to 2.5k?"
That's when our man said "yeah but I fingered her as well so for her pleasure I gave myself a 500 buck discount otherwise there's no sense in having an MBA" and proceeded to act like he had pulled of the greatest con after oceans 11!
I swear to you considering the cast of characters I've come across in my life, there's rarely a dull outing. And no he didn't get AIDS and we did end up partying hard that night.
Till next time.
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